Viewpoints

Mon
31
Aug

Mark my words, freshmen

It's nearly September, and soon freshmen will be getting lost in their high schools, making ill-fated wrong turns that land them outside the boys' locker room before football practice.

Mon
01
Dec

Thanks, kids, for annoying me

Veteran parents tell me I should be thankful, because soon I'll miss all of this.

The incessant questions. The toy-littered floors. The mealtime tradition we call the Spilling of the Beverages.

Tue
11
Nov

What we won't do 'fur' the theater

It's amazing the sacrifices we actors make for our art.

Mon
27
Oct

Have golden parachute, will travel

MEMORANDUM
TO: All Employees
FROM: Your CEO
RE: Unemployment

Wed
22
Oct

Beware Thing One and Thing Two

The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day.

Mon
29
Sep

Uncle Sam, a sailor on shore leave

Many people question his policies, but I think Uncle Sam is a financial whiz. And if you happen to need a few hundred - or even several billion - bucks, he's a heck of a good guy to have around.

Mon
22
Sep

A Big Mac a day keeps the doctor away

Say this about Wisconsinites: We are survivors.

Tue
26
Aug

What in the name of Sex Fruit is going on?

Parents do a lot of embarrassing things to their children. They show up at the beach wearing black socks with shorts. They loudly ask Missy whether she needs a fresh tube of anti-fungal foot cream, right in front of her entire slumber party.

Mon
11
Aug

Let us ratify a Bill of Lefts

It's time to celebrate the right to be left-handed.

It may surprise you to learn Aug. 13 is Left-Handers' Day. This holiday is largely unknown because the right-handed establishment continues to oppress the lefty minority.

Tue
05
Aug

Growing up isn't worth the rush

"Wait for me!"

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